Anyone who's gone through sorority recruitment knows the roller coaster of emotions that it can be. You range from laughter to tears to anger to joy that is so overwhelming you can't contain it. You fall in love, fall out of love, harbor grudges, and question yourself and your goals. You honestly find yourself while trying to find your new home. As someone coming from a small town where Greek life isn't talked about much or even really acknowledged, I was so under prepared for this week. I was overwhelmed and honestly terrified walking into my first party on Sunday morning. Throughout the week there was excitement and disappointment but so so much love. I questioned every day for a week if I was making the right decision. I questioned whether I even wanted to go Greek. I questioned myself and my morals and what exactly I was in it for. It was a confusing week, to say the least. As I was waiting to walk into my pref parties on Friday morning my mom texted me something that hit me right in the heart and moved me to tears. "You know I asked your paw paw to talk to the big man about rush this morning." That one thing brought me so much peace. It is so impossible to even describe the emotions running through me when I read that.
I returned from my parties and my final pref yesterday and did a lot of long hard thinking. I knew that I had so many people both on Earth and off watching over me and only wanting the best for me, so I knew that I was going to end up where I belong. I slept soundly last night and didn't worry about this morning. I knew that it was all going to work out in the end. As I opened my bid this morning and read KKG I was overcome with so many emotions. I ran to my mom and hugged her tight and took a picture and then made my way into the chapter room. I was still slightly unsure about my feelings when I walked in and then I realized something... the chapter room is yellow. The color of sunshine. If you know a bit of my life, you know that my Paw-Paw used to call me his sunshine. The nickname was his and his alone. A feeling of warmth and home washed over me as I looked at those yellow was and I realized that I was home. I was where i'm supposed to belong for the next four years. I was led down a road of confusion and tears and stress this week to reach my final destination of family and love with my new Kappa sisters today. I had someone walking with me the entire way. The rays of sun that shone from behind Samford as I walked past, stressing about pref, had been following me all week and I had just never realized it. I am where I belong and I have never felt so much peace in my life. So to my Paw-Paw, thank you for sitting with God and leading me to where I belong, even if it is at Auburn. And to my Kappa sisters, I am so beyond ecstatic to be spending these next four years with you!
No comments:
Post a Comment