I've Got Sunshine on a Cloudy Day

   Anyone who's gone through sorority recruitment knows the roller coaster of emotions that it can be. You range from laughter to tears to anger to joy that is so overwhelming you can't contain it. You fall in love, fall out of love, harbor grudges, and question yourself and your goals. You honestly find yourself while trying to find your new home. As someone coming from a small town where Greek life isn't talked about much or even really acknowledged, I was so under prepared for this week. I was overwhelmed and honestly terrified walking into my first party on Sunday morning. Throughout the week there was excitement and disappointment but so so much love. I questioned every day for a week if I was making the right decision. I questioned whether I even wanted to go Greek. I questioned myself and my morals and what exactly I was in it for. It was a confusing week, to say the least. As I was waiting to walk into my pref parties on Friday morning my mom texted me something that hit me right in the heart and moved me to tears. "You know I asked your paw paw to talk to the big man about rush this morning." That one thing brought me so much peace. It is so impossible to even describe the emotions running through me when I read that. 

   I returned from my parties and my final pref yesterday and did a lot of long hard thinking. I knew that I had so many people both on Earth and off watching over me and only wanting the best for me, so I knew that I was going to end up where I belong. I slept soundly last night and didn't worry about this morning. I knew that it was all going to work out in the end. As I opened my bid this morning and read KKG I was overcome with so many emotions. I ran to my mom and hugged her tight and took a picture and then made my way into the chapter room. I was still slightly unsure about my feelings when I walked in and then I realized something... the chapter room is yellow. The color of sunshine. If you know a bit of my life, you know that my Paw-Paw used to call me his sunshine. The nickname was his and his alone. A feeling of warmth and home washed over me as I looked at those yellow was and I realized that I was home. I was where i'm supposed to belong for the next four years. I was led down a road of confusion and tears and stress this week to reach my final destination of family and love with my new Kappa sisters today. I had someone walking with me the entire way. The rays of sun that shone from behind Samford as I walked past, stressing about pref, had been following me all week and I had just never realized it. I am where I belong and I have never felt so much peace in my life. So to my Paw-Paw, thank you for sitting with God and leading me to where I belong, even if it is at Auburn. And to my Kappa sisters, I am so beyond ecstatic to be spending these next four years with you! 

Waaaaaaaar Eagle, HEY! Updates on Life.

   Hello world! I'm officially moved into my dorm in Glenn Hall on campus at Auburn University! Let me just say that life has been whirlwind since move-in on Saturday. We got our room organized and put together and instantly jumped into recruitment parties! Let me start by saying that I am in love with our rooms! I feel like my roommate and I did so well at making it feel like such a home-y and cozy place!

We are in absolute love with our new home! And for those of you that have asked, we do have a refrigerator, TV and microwave, they're just not pictured! As stated earlier, we jumped feet first into recruitment after moving in! I met my Pi Chi group (the group of girls that i'm going through recruitment with) Saturday night and started parties on Sunday. We did parties all day Sunday and half of the day today and to say that I am tired is the understatement of the century! I've been spending the past few hours laying in bed flipping back and forth between Say Yes to the Dress and Friends and I have never been happier. Recruitment is one of the most fun things I have ever done though! I love meeting new people and this is the absolute best way to do it! 

   I know that this is not my typical blog setup, but I've had people asking for updates since I moved so here it is! Thank you all so much for your support and your thoughts! War Eagle! Your regular thought proving, humorous, and generally awesome (if I do say so myself) blog posts will return sometime this week! Stay tuned! 

Walk Down the Dark, Scary Alley

   As most of you know, I was blessed with the ability to go to Venice, Florence, Assissi, and Rome, Italy over Spring Break this year. I will never, EVER be able to thank my family enough for giving me this experience and I'll never be able to thank the group that I went with enough for making it an absolutely unforgettable trip! One of my favorite memories from the week was from our first day in Venice, which was my favorite city that we visited. My friends Ali, Brevyn and I were exploring the city on our own, trying to take all of the culture in and experience that we could in the short amount of time that we had. We were wandering through the streets of the city, following the canals and staying toward the town center when I saw an alley that caught me attention. Honestly, should I have walked down the dark alley? No. Should I have listened to my friends trying to reason with me that walking down dark alleys in foreign countries is how Taken 3 is probably going to start? Yes. But did I? Of course not! I drug the other 2 members of the "three musketeers" down this alley and was amazed at what we found. We ended up in a residential area, with a small square area full of children playing soccer and mothers talking over coffee. Over the course of the trip I never felt more immersed in the culture of that beautiful country than I did in that exact moment. I saw how the locals lived, and that was a beautiful experience for me. We continued following the alley and found small shops that were obviously not as visited by tourists. We got homemade Italian desserts from a bakery that was the cutest thing I have ever seen in my entire life. I got to take this awesome picture of fruit from a market. 

The things that were found down that alley are some of my favorite memories from the entire trip, so I can definitely say that I am glad that I ventured out of my comfort zone of two-for-one t-shirts and photo-ops.

   You see, blogging for the first time is kind of a step into the unknown. I got out of my comfort zone and walked down the dark alley of making my mind public, essentially. I am absolutely overwhelmed with the texts and encouragements that I have gotten since I've made my first few posts.  I can't express my thanks enough for everyone who has reached out to me and told me that they enjoy my writing! It's nerve wracking to post my thoughts for everyone to see (and critique), to say the least! Sucking up my fears and publishing each blog is something that hasn't gotten easier for me so far, but I'm sure it will in the future! I hope to keep stepping out of my comfort zone in the coming years, because it seems like the best things in life exist outside of my small box. I know that God has big plans for me, I just have to follow Him wherever He choose to lead me. That reminds me of a line in the song Oceans by Hillsong United, "Spirit, lead me where my trust is without borders." I know that in the next four years, I will be given choices that aren't going to be easy. I know that sometimes, I'll need to walk down the dark alley because that's what in His master plan. But I also know that the end result is going to be something better than I could ever imagine for myself. So here's to dark alleys and trusting God's beautifully unknown plan.

Livin' Like Lutz and the Auburn Creed

Tonight, as a member of the Auburn family, I'm writing with a heavy heart. Auburn football player, family member, and inspiration, Philip Lutzenkirchen, tragically passed this morning. Prayers go out to his family and the families of the others involved in the accident.
In the wake of something like this happening, it never fails to amaze me to see the Auburn family (and fan bases of other SEC schools, including our biggest "rivals") come together in love and sorrow for such a saddening loss. One thing that I read today while reading through the tweets and posts about Lutzenkirchen has stuck with me as I've gone through my day: He lived the creed. Any Auburn alum (or anyone who sat through the "living the creed" session at CWE) here can tell you how important the creed is to the Auburn family. If you're not familiar with it, it says: I believe that this is a practical world and that I can count only on what I earn. Therefore, I believe in work, hard work. I believe in education, which gives me the knowledge to work wisely and trains my mind and my hands to work skillfully. I believe in honesty and truthfulness, without which I cannot win the respect and confidence of my fellow men. I believe in a sound mind, in a sound body and a spirit that is not afraid, and in clean sports that develop these qualities. I believe in obedience to law because it protects the rights of all. I believe in the human touch, which cultivates sympathy with my fellow men and mutual helpfulness and brings happiness for all. I believe in my Country, because it is a land of freedom and because it is my own home, and that I can best serve that country by "doing justly, loving mercy, and walking humbly with my God." And because Auburn men and women believe in these things, I believe in Auburn and love it. - George Petrie
I have loved this creed since the first time I read the full thing over a year ago. I believe that it is what everyone, Auburn fan or not, should strive to live their life by. Until it gave it serious thought today, however, I did not know how much living the creed could show through your life and your actions. Anyone who is familiar with Lutzenkirchen's life knows that this man is someone to be inspired by. He worked hard, played hard, and gave everything that he had in everything that he did.He has left a legacy and inspiration behind him on this earth, despite tragically leaving us at such a young age. Even in my personal life, he's inspired me to live the creed and have the essence of being an Auburn woman shine through me. Lutzenkirchen, you will be greatly missed by the Auburn family. War Eagle and fly high.

Sink or Swim

     I remember the first time that I jumped off of a diving board. I was five or six and my parents had signed me up for swimming lessons and the final test of these lessons was to jump off of a diving board into the deep end of the pool and swim to the ladder. Well, that just had "NOPE. NUH UH." written all over it for little me. I cried and yelled and protested until the point that my swimming instructor very gracefully gave me a push (literally...) off of the diving board. It was at that point that six year old survival mode kicked in and I swam with all of the dignity that a child with a diva complex could muster after being forced to do something that she didn't want to do. After that experience, I've swam like a fish and never met a diving board that I didn't instantly become friends with.
     The more that I think about this experience, the more that I realize that it is a great metaphor for growing up as a whole. As an 18 year old staring adulthood and responsibility in the face, I realize that I am standing at the edge of the diving board, apprehensively staring into the deep end of bills and buying my own groceries and not turning all of my white clothes pink and getting out of bed before noon and somehow managing to not lose all of my personal belongings without my mom following behind me picking up my trail of misplaced sunglasses and phones and goodness knows what else. For the past thirteen years, i've been in "swimming lessons." My hand has been held as I have learned how to navigate life. My parents have taught me how to stand on my own two feet and be strong in myself. My teachers have taught me the things that I needed to know to pass the tests to get into my dream school. Some of my teachers have also taught me invaluable life lessons that will continue to travel far past the classroom, and I will never be able to thank them enough for that. I've been taught how to write checks, even though I still can't quite figure out when i'm ever going to use them (isn't everything online nowadays??? ((kidding))(((kinda))). My mother has told me the things to spend my money on and the things to resist (food is essential. Makeup is not. Laundry is essential. Buying clothes so that you don't have to do laundry is not.) I know how to take tests and how to study and people skills and how to small talk and make myself seem like a really monumental addition to society. So I guess you could say that in the shallow end of the pool of life, i'm doggy paddling along just well, thank you very much! But I am still not prepared for doing backstrokes in 8 feet of responsibility.
     I have slowly started to realize that on August 9th, I will move away from all of the people who are holding my hand and they will push me off of the diving board. I'm sure there will be tears and knowing my flair for the dramatic probably some kicking and screaming (because I still have that six year old diva complex). Just like in swimming lessons, my "instructors" will be there to jump in the pool if I forget how to swim, but they have faith that I will make it to the ladder (or in this case, college graduation and managing to get an adult job). I've learned how to not let myself be ran over. I've learned to never, ever compromise who I am for anyone. And most importantly I've realized that if God is at the center of what I do, I will not fail. With all of this, I should be a member of the olympic swimming team in no time (metaphorically in life, of course, because Mary and sports are not a combination that ever go together. Ever.). With all of this said, in a month and a half, I guess it's time for me to sink or swim.